Lani on Life

How to Date Your Spouse

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Dating your spouse is a must! We spend so much time getting to know one another and planning the perfect dates when we are in the “courting” phase of our relationship. Once we have each other trapped committed for life, we seem to lose the need to date one another. When life gets going, spending quality time and having fun together seems to take a back seat. The truth of the matter is, the children will grow up and leave. The jobs, the city, and friends may change. But at the end of the day, you are left with one other. Don’t look up and see a total stranger. To help you avoid “stranger danger” here are some tips to help you date your spouse.

5 ways to date your spouse

Set a consistent time

This by far is one of the most crucial detail in dating your spouse. Time is at a premium, but you must make time for the things that are important to you. Carve out a certain day of the week or month to do something special with your spouse. Most couples can at least find the time once a month to do something together. If you have an unpredictable schedule, impromptu dating is also encouraged, but do your best to set a specific time.

If you choose to have a date night once a month, do not allow anything to alter that schedule. Your friends? They can wait. Your job? That can wait. Your kids? Yes mama bears, they can also wait.

And finally, put it on your calendar! Usually, when we have something on our calendars, it is set in stone and you schedule other things around it. Why is dating your spouse, not on the calendar? Add it to the calendar to strategically and visually block off a time frame and to prove to yourself that you are commited to your special time together. You are committed to dating your spouse.

Do something different each time

We all know as time progresses, and you grow in your relationship, things can get a little stale. So, if you are committed to dating your spouse, commit to try something different each time (or most of the time). Going out to Ruby Tuesday’s is all good and well, but who wants to do that EVERY SINGLE date night? Okay, some people might. If that is your thing, go for it. To keep it interesting, try and choose different activities that the other person will enjoy. For instance, I enjoy riding roller coasters, so this time we will visit a theme park. My spouse enjoys movies, so next time we will do dinner and catch a movie.

No matter where you live, the date options are endless. A critical part of a successful relationship is communication. Communicate to your spouse what activities you’d like to try, listen to their wishes and create a “dates to try with my spouse” list together.

Get a sitter

In-home date nights have to happen from time to time. But let’s be honest here, we do not truly “unplug” from our families when they are just in the next room. Our minds continue to race in regards to what we need to do for them and…blah blah blah blah blah. One way we can help to ensure we are truly taking full advantage of the time we have to date our spouse is by getting a sitter. Where you find the sitter is your choice, but get one for as many date nights as you can. I won’t say I told you so, but you can thank me later.

Go solo and with friends

The first step in dating your spouse is, dating your spouse! Spend time alone to talk, bond, and strengthen your connection to one another. Make sure you have a solid and healthy personal dating life before you double date. If you only have one date night per month, I would caution against including other couples with you. But, if you have the opportunity to date your spouse multiple times a month, I would include another couple on one of those occasions.

Having another married (or dating) couple around allows you to be a soundboard for one another. You can ask advice, catch up on married talk and just hang out with like-minded individuals. Successful people typically go to other successful people when they want to bounce ideas off them or seek advice, couples should do the same thing. In addition, this helps you stay committed to dating your spouse because others will be around to ensure you keep your word.

Don’t stop dating

This one is very obvious but necessary to discuss. We cannot allow our relationships to go stale and dwindle. We cannot let the humdrum of life drown out the need for continuous maintenance and reconnection. Of course, we have a million and one responsibilities, and dating your spouse is an absolute priority. Do everything you can to keep your marriage growing and moving forward. One easy solution…date your spouse!

Tell me friends, how do you date your spouse?

Keep doing (the best) you boo!

how to date your spouse

xoxo Lani

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10 thoughts on “How to Date Your Spouse

  1. I’m blessed to have a persistent hubby that has always made date nights happen. There were a few years when our kids were little that I would hesitate to be going anywhere due to exhaustion, but he always had something booked and insisted we go out. We still date regularly thanks to him. I now see the value in his commitment and wouldn’t have it any other way! πŸ™‚

  2. Hey Lani,
    Awwww. I adore this post! I am a firm believer in dating my spouse. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, and our weapon of choice is touring the amazing food scene where we live together. Every week we pick out a drool worthy restaurant we want to visit and we will either go to the restaurant, or do a quirky thing and get super dressed up and get take out from the restaurant and eat at home with fluorescent kitchen lighting :)… lOL I know.. how romantic, but the experience of new food is a point of connection for both of us.

    This is such a good reminder to help keep that fire alive! Thank you for sharing!!!!

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