Lani on Life

How to Build Your Tribe

build your tribe

Build your tribe: Emit the vibes you want to receive 

We’ve all heard the phrase, “you are what you eat”. Well, the same applies to build your tribe. Your vibe attracts your tribe.  You must emit the aura you want to attract. If you want to build your tribe with women who empower one another, you must empower. If you want to build your tribe with friends who are movers and shakers, start moving and shaking. You will get back what you put out. I want to build my tribe with ladies who drip glitter, determine their own destiny’s, and lead prosperous lives. So that means, I better start (and keep) dripping!

find your tribe

Routine maintenance of your tribe  

This is the part where most of us struggle. Adulting, in general, is the struggle, but add finding (and maintaining) your tribe in the mix…le sigh. Everyone knows you’ re busy and have boss moves to make, but make time for your tribe. First, set out allotted time to spend with your tribe. Text, talk, tweet, go out for a drink. Don’t let your relationships fall to the wayside. We make time for the things that are important to us. Honesty, I’m still working on this part. I get so caught up in my goals, I sometimes forget to connect with my tribe.

Yes new friends, join my tribe! 

Seriously, the days of  “no new friends” have passed. If you want to build a tribe, you must accept the awkwardness that is making new friends. Now, I am not saying you need a ton of friends, but those two awesome girls (or guys) may be the perfect addition to the boss tribe you are building. Move past your comfort zone and get to know people before you decide…”Nah I’m good on friends”.

In the end, we all want a tribe that helps us become our best selves, holds us up when we are falling, and has a hair tie in their purse when your hair decides to have a mind of its own. Finding the right people to complete your tribe is no easy feat, but hey, Wakanda wasn’t built in a day and neither will your life be.

Keep doing (the best) you boo!

xoxo Lani

2019 Vision Board

If you haven’t read the blog post, Things 2018 Taught Me then, read there first so you aren’t confused as to why my vision board this year is so important to me.

Each year I get together with a few of my girlfriend and we partake in visions and vino,, where we create our vision boards for the year and of course sip some wine. This year we couldn’t coordinate our schedules properly BUT…the vision board must live on.

The way I create my vision board is the method I use, you are free to use whatever works best for you.  There are concrete concepts I revisit and rethink each year, they are always the starting point of my vision board.  So, If you’re in a rut on what should be on your board, here are some things to get your vision board started.

Choose a photo that represents something you for your life

First of all, Taraji is an entire mood and THAT is how I’m walking through 2019! For me, these photos represent undeniable confidence and acceptance of self. Choose something that embodies the woman (or man) you see yourself as in the new year.

Vision Board: Life photo

Pick a power color

A power color is a color that makes you feel bold, professional, and excited. I always choose a power color for the year, and many times the color transfers with me. My power color has been gold for a few years running now. I am sticking with gold and adding blush because who said only one color could make you feel powerful.

Select a wardrobe staple color

Personally, I tend to flock to one color in my wardrobe for a season of time. This year, I  am living for Army green (no, this has nothing to do with me being a military wife). Not only does this help me with my styling for the year, it always helps me to switch up my wardrobe hues from year to year if I so choose.

Vision Board: Wardrobe Staple Color

All of the above things are essential to my vision board but are not as important as those I’m about to share. To ensure your vision board is not full of trivial things, dig a little deeper and identify what you want to manifest for yourself in the new year.

Add personal items to your vision board
  • I always include something about my relationship with God and my family.  If we are not improving, we are not growing. Add important visual or words about your family and your religion to your vision board.
  • Finances are always a hot topic when creating a vision for the new year. I set an “extra” finances goal because a girl loves to travel, shop, and drink Starbucks…even though I have a Keurig at home.
  • Declare it. I choose a quote/mantra for the year. This year I have chosen, “I will manifest ______” (insert what you’d like to manifest this year)! If a quote is too long, choose a word that will reign over your life for the year.
  • Finally, set a personal goal (something to work on for me, with me, by myself). This can range from fitness, healthier eating, writing a manuscript, drinking a glass of wine a day…you get the idea.

Whatever method you choose, write the vision and make it plain. Hang your vision board in a place you will see it on the daily as constant reminder to get your butt in gear towards those goals!

So do tell, What visions do you have for your life in 2019? How do you organize your vision? Drop a comment below.

Keep doing (the best) you boo!

xoxo Lani

Things 2018 Taught Me

As each year ends, the majority of us reflect on the year that is passing and set goals for the year ahead. So what has 2018 taught me? It depends. Sometimes we walk away with some life altering insights and sometimes we realize that our favorite shirt actually has a misspelling on it. No matter the caliber, you should leave each year having learned something about yourself, your life, and those around you. Here are the things 2018 has taught me (in no particular order)…

1. Make time for yourself

Ladies. Mamas. Wives. Professionals. Students. Whatever you are, remember that YOU come first. As super women we do everything in our power to ensure those around us are thriving and happy. But, what about us? Take that hour, day, weekend…whatever you need, and focus solely on you. Get that massage, listen to that audio book, sleep all day! Make (or take) time to do the things you enjoy and benefit only you (insert loud gasp). By far this is the most important thing 2018 has taught me.

2. Time is a precious resource

This one isn’t new. But man, 2018 made me realize I spent a lot of time in meetings that resolved nothing, having conversations with people that were meaningless, and generally wasting time. I will never get those minutes back. But, I can’t cry over wasted time (though I want too), I’m taking note and removing those things that suck the time force out of my life. Goodbye traffic (<— that is how it works right?)!

3. Love what you do

We hear this all the time, but how often do we apply what we know. We go to school, we get that certificate, we get that job and after 3,4,5,10 years the passion is gone. If you don’t love it (Like it is really negatively affecting your life), find a new love and pour into that. Yes it is scary, it is a risk. But, in my book, a (well thought out) risk is worth taking if it may result in a lifetime of happiness. Great risks often yield great rewards. Thank you 2018! You taught me that.

4. Say “No”

Girl, can you…NO! Mommy, can you…NO! Sister, can you…NO!

It is okay to say No. You cannot be all things to all people at all times, which is okay. If you cannot do it, do not commit to it (and don’t feel bad). I’ve had an issue with this this year, and I was left drained and aggravated. When I started saying “no”, life got so much easier. I don’t say “no” to everyone or everything, but I do say “no” to things I can’t (or don’t want to do). My mental and physical health are more important that over extending myself.

5. Write the vision, make it plain

In 2018 I didn’t finish my vision board (so what, right?). I accomplished many of the things that I did have on it (yay for me!). I didn’t accomplish the things that were not on it. My vision was not complete, it’s very difficult to complete “blank space”. Without a clear vision, it is difficult to follow the path and reach your destination. So this year, I’ll be sure to write and complete the vision.

6. Goals don’t expire

Yasss hunny I am excited for grace, especially because I fumbled a bit on #5 (writing my vision). I am ready to crush my new goals and transfer some old ones into the new year. Goals do not have an expiration date and delayed does not mean denied! So reset girlfriend, and strut into the new year like you own it.

Keep doing (the best) you boo!

xoxo Lani

Welcome to “Lani on Life”: The Babe Behind the Blog

Hello Beauties,

Welcome to my neck of the net. I am Lani. I am a 30-something-year-old woman navigating through life with my eyes on success (however that is defined). This adventure represents a changing point in my life. A shift in my ideals of success and happiness. This represents for everyone who is no longer defined by the qualms of society but dancing to the beat of their own 808. Do you boo! And welcome to Lani on Life.

Who are you?

I am a lot of things and I’m NOT a lot of things.

I am a lover. Traveler. Mama. Wife. Teacher. Sister. Friend. Daughter. Confidant.

I am feisty and friendly in the same breath. I love Jesus and ratchet music. I am a planner and spontaneous. I am well educated and street smart. I enjoy good wine and natural hair products. I am trying to learn how to do my makeup and dress like a grown up.

Why should I read your blog?

There’s a ton of stuff on the net! You should chill out here if you are finding a way to laugh through and enjoy life. You should chill out here if your are any of the above (see who are you).

If you love it, stick around a while and come back for more. If it’s not for you, at least share it with someone who you think will love it before you go.

What kinds of things do you write about?

The things that take up most of my time:
Moming. Teaching. Lifeing.

Keep doing (the best) you boo!